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Change Requires Change
by Serge Kahili King

I huli i ke ola, e huli i ke ola
In order to change your life, change your life

(Hawaiian proverb created by me)

I have written about change before and I have used this proverb before, but this time I want to go more into actual techniques that you can use.

First, the basics. As the title says, change requires change. If you want something to be different than it is, whether it involves, health, wealth, happiness or success, then you have to change what you've been doing so far, because what you've been doing so far has produced the conditions that you want to be different. If you just keep doing what you've been doing, change will probably happen, but it won't be pretty. If you keep pounding your head against a wall to get to where you want to go, it is highly likely that your head will crack before the wall does. It will be much easier to get to where you want to go if you go over the wall, under the wall, around the wall or use tools or help to make a hole in the wall instead.

When you want your life to change in a positive way, there are certain things you must change about yourself. The more quickly you can make these inner changes, the more quickly changes will occur in your life circumstances. And, of course, the longer it takes to make these inner changes then the longer it takes for the outer changes to happen. Here is what you must do:

Change The Way You Think
1. Decide what you want. The more specific you can make this the better. For instance, just wanting a job isn't very good, and telling a potential employer that you are willing to do anything is probably the worst thing you can say.If you aren't ready or able to choose a specific job, you can at least decide on the conditions you want the job to have. The same is true if the issue is health. Decide how healthy you want to be, and not how sick you don't want to be. If it's a good relationship you are after, decide what kind of person you want to be with, and also how happy you want the relationship to be. Whatever it is that you want, decide.

2. Making your decision is only the first step. Next comes maintaining the decision, often called "holding the focus." I'll be the first to admit that this isn't easy. Sometimes you hear that it takes a strong will, so let's clear up what that means. A person with a "strong will" is one who just keeps making the same decision over and over and does what is necessary to make it come about. A person with a weak will is one who keeps changing his or her decisions and seldom follows through with any of them.

3. Keep your mind on the benefits of the changes you want to make. This is what helps to develop what is called a strong will. Keeping the benefits in mind is also what keeps your motivation going. One way to do this is to use the processes given in The Little Pink Booklet of Aloha, available for free at

4. Make a plan for how to get what you want, but keep it flexible. You will sometimes hear people say, "make a plan and stick to it," but that hardly ever works, because you have no control over circumstances that may arise. You may want to take a particular road to a particular place for a particular reason, but accidents, storms, broken water mains and a host of other things may cause delays and detours. You don't have to give up your goal, but you may have to modify how you reach it.

Change Your Feelings
1. Get rid of your fears about the changes you want to make, about the obstacles you think you see, about the past, present and future. The more fear you get rid of, the easier it is to make changes in your life. I recommend The Dynamind Technique for this, available for free at

2. Get rid of your angers, toward yourself and everyone else in your life. Just like fear, the more anger you get rid of, the easier it is to change your life. You can use the Dynamind Technique for this, too.

3. Get rid of your doubts, about yourself, everyone else in your life, and about life itself. Just like fear and anger, the more doubt you get rid of, the easier it is to change your life. Dynamind works for this as well.

4. Make peace with your present circumstances. The more you resist the way things are, the harder it is to change them. I do not mean to passively accept them. I mean to realize that they are just temporary and to let them be while you make plans and take actions toward your goals.

Change Your Behavior
1. Reduce or eliminate criticism. Criticism is a focus on what you don't like. One problem with criticism is based on the idea that Energy Flows Where Attention Goes and it corollary, Attention Goes Where Energy Flows. In other words, the more you focus on something, the more likely it is to appear in your life. Another problem is that criticism tends to push people away, emotionally, if not physically--people who may be important in regard to making the changes you want to make, Some people have a great deal of trouble in giving up criticism, because it gives them a brief, but pleasurable, sensation of power. If you have this kind of trouble, try adding, out loud or mentally, a compliment for something--anything--that you do like or appreciate.

2. Practice a positive posture. A surprising number of people are not even aware of how their posture affects other people and influences their own thoughts, feelings and behavior. For this it helps to find a role model, perhaps someone you know or maybe a celebrity or movie/tv character who stands, sits and walks with an air of self confidence and self esteem. The more positive your posture, the better you feel and the better people feel about you.

3. Help others in some way, apart from any help your profession or vocation might provide, without seeking or expecting reward, appreciation or acknowledgement. If it happens, that's fine, but try not to seek it or expect it, at least in some of what you do to help. It doesn't matter whether it is in big or small ways. It is hard to explain, but this will have a subtle, but definite effect on your ability to make changes.

Change Your Environment
1. There is a Chinese saying based on feng shui that goes like this: "To change your life, change 27 things in your house." Without realizing it, we tend to let or make our environment reflect our current states of thoughts, feelings and behavior. Making outer changes is a way of helping inner changes happen. There is no fixed rule about how to do it except this one: Change begets change. Try rearranging your desk, your furniture, or even your whole house if you want, to help make your other changes.

2. The environments you usually visit, like shops, parks or even vacation spots, can also reflect and condition your inner states and possibilities for making changes. You don't have to give up what you like, but try adding different shops, different buildings, different parks, or different vacation destinations. This will not only help to give you new ideas and inspirations, it will expand your possibilities.

And here is an authentic Hawaiian proverb to end with:

Maka'ala ke kanaka kahea manu
One who calls birds needs to stay alert

One who wants to succeed needs to be alert to every opportunity

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