Sometimes we get a nudge from our High Self to take a leap into the void, to try something new, something we've never done before. Sometimes bringing us face to face with our fears like for example walking on fire, bungie jumping or diving into deep waters.
I don't have a need to confront my every fear. Yet I can remember the feeling of freedom I felt after I realized how easy it was to tread water for the first time! This feeling can be a great motivator. I believe we give ourselves opportunities to stretch and grow, and it's OK whether we choose to act on an opportunity or not. One such opportunity came to me recently.
I was eating breakfast at a Kino Mana class in Switzerland, when the topic of eyesight came up, probably because I was wearing glasses that morning instead of contacts. I had recently met someone who had had successful laser surgery and for the first time I was seriously considering having it done myself. I was giving myself until October to heal or else surgery. Of course Ku was listening, and based on all my past decisions about eye surgery it began to present me with ways to heal, beginning with that breakfast!
When asked what my beliefs were about healing my eyes, (I had just been discussing Huna principles the day before.) I said I believed any healing would have to begin with not wearing either my contacts or my glasses. Then I was asked the 40 million dollar question, "Why not begin now?" Now? In the middle of a class? Did they have any idea how little I could see? .......How dependent I had become with 38 years of wearing glasses and 30 years of contacts? (I could rarely be found without one or the other.) Impossible! Or was it, I thought?
Part of me heard their questions and saw an opportunity to change old patterns in an environment of love and part of me wanted to run for cover within my rational mind. I have to be responsible to these students, I'm their teacher, they deserve my best. That's when a voice of inspiration came to suggest my best might be found in the trying, taking a chance, to be vulnerable, to need help, to trust.
I decided to try it for one day. I could always go back to my contacts... That may have been the hardest day. (because of my fears, everyone else was very supportive.) Three students also gave up their glasses. I learned so much about how others have healed their sight. One student even went home and brought back a color therapy machine! Each day became easier.
Then I found new hurdles to jump. Big ones, little ones: like sight-"seeing" in the beautiful Swiss Alps, or packing up my suitcases in a relatively short amount of time, traveling by train and plane to Norway alone, driving, driving at night, teaching my first Teacher and Healer Courses, city driving (Honolulu, Vancouver), and even simple office work. Though I carry them on my lap when I drive, I haven't used my glasses once! My sight has improved so much, I doubt if they would work.
It had been 3 months, and I was faced with questions like how long do I believe perfect vision will take to acheive? Consciously, I believe my eyes can heal in an instant! Ku must have had some conflicting beliefs operating, so Lono had teaching to do. I decided when I finished the summer trainings I would devote my time to healing my sight. Guess what happened? I couldn't do it. It didn't feel right. I had boxes to unpack, massage sheets to wash, cats to hang out with, mail to open, bills to pay, calls to return, emails to read, all with eyes in the process of healing.
Sounds like excuses, even to me. I examined my motives. Did I really want to heal my eyesight or did I want to live my life? The answer was, I wanted to heal my sight while living my life. I wanted to do both. Maybe this way would take a little while longer, maybe not. And maybe, just maybe, I would develop a more relaxed, health-supporting lifestyle!
P.S. Regarding my eyesight, I was navigating around the world amazingly well when I found myself faced with the opportunity for laser surgery. I decided to have the surgery on my left eye. I now enjoy seeing clearly things at a distance with my left eye and reading up close with my right eye. No need for glasses or contacts and I see fabulously. I bless the inventors, the teachers, the doctors, the nurses and my friends who assisted this process!
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Copyright by Aloha International 2001