Just Passing Through
This is to honor a man whom I got to know briefly and will never see again in this life.
I was helping out at a TV-commercial-shoot on the Big Island, several weeks ago. Among the clients we had to film was a golf-store. As soon as we were to enter the store I had the sensation of something dark and shaky and told my partner, that I had a bad feeling. He did not take that serious, neither did I. To my surprise I found myself later in a laid-back, friendly atmosphere, the whole store had kind of an old-fashioned touch, and the people were definitely nice. All men working there, including the owner. All wearing kind of a sales-uniform. While we were moving around, arranging equipment, filming, rearranging products, filming, finding good views and items worth featuring, I became aware of the presence of a certain gentleman in the background. He was industriously walking about the shop, taking with customers, cleaning or storing things, always busy. I thought he was quiet in a strange way, though. (My partner had the same impression, as we were to find out much later.) He reminded me of a character in one of those old English movies, where the lowest-ranking person turns out to be the heir of a rich aristocrat. In fact, the guy looked very British to me. He was small, but attractive, very well built and with perfect manners.
During the shoot it happened one time, that he got as close to me as about one meter, helping me to pick up something or arrange something. I do not clearly remember. What I do remember, though, is the certain kind of fright that I experienced when I interacted with that man. It was a mixture between pleasure and fear, and although we did not speak more than a few words with each other, this “acquaintance" has left a stronger impression on me than with people with whom I might have spent hours or days, even years. There was something about that man. It almost felt like I knew him.
The TV-spot we filmed was to end with a little dialogue between the store-owner and "Mr. Strange", ... and long after we had left the store and the Big Island, I kept hearing the one line that this man had to say in the scene. In fact, I heard it every day since then until a few days ago. It sounded in my mind, vibrated, resonated, showed up without warning, was always there.
From the day that we left Big Island until last week I kept experiencing something so extraordinary, that I had to write to Serge King for advice. To make it short: I felt I was dying, and it cost me a lot of effort to stay in this realm, under extreme physical and mental pains and other impressions that are not to be described here. I am a perfectly healthy person, I must add, and those “attacks" came out of the blue. I “lost" the surrounding, every time it happened to me, and that kind of “slipping away" came so fast, that there were always only some seconds left for me to hold on to something in my nearest surroundings that I could use as focus-aims. I felt, if I would not hold on strong enough, I would be “sucked" away, would disappear - I do not know where. I felt terrible fear and pain. If felt as if I was forced out of this world. As if I was to faint. And I could not keep this from happening. What I was able to do, though, was to focus with all my might on my “Self", the “I", that I was and knew and wanted to remain. I wanted to stay. I held on tight to this thought. And to some items nearby. And I got out of that “vortex" every single time. (I am not a person of visions and trance-experiences, but quite based in “ke Ao", this world.).
Yesterday I was told, that the man from the golf-store had committed suicide. And I can only tell you as it is for me: As soon as I heard that, it made kind of "click!" in my mind, and I KNEW, that there had been a connection between my terrible experiences of the last weeks and the struggle that this man must have gone through.I have no idea of what kind the relationship between him and me was. I only know, that our connection was so strong, that I had to cry when I heard that he was dead. Thinking back I had not had one of my "attacks" since the day of his death.
We are connected with every form of existence on this planet, and NOTHING of what we experience is meaningless. More often than not we do not recognize the meanings and the value of our feelings, impressions, visions and simple experiences of our every-day life, because we are not used to look for them.
It is not even necessary to always try to find out what all is about. It reveals itself if it has to. And we do not stay at the places where things occur to us, that is why we do not get to witness the outcome of something that we might have touched on our way through. "It's a mighty world we are living in, but we are only passing through" is the line out of a country-song I got to hear lately. Yes, we are only passing through. But boy, do we leave stuff behind! Be sure, that everything you have ever thought or done has an effect in the cosmic network. Honor your experiences, they are the results of the cosmic networking that all forms of existence of this universe take part in.
May the strange man from the golf-store be happier in his next form of existence. You thank his death for the hint that everything you perceive with your senses or "just inside" might be of great value for your future or the future of somebody else.
Awareness is the magic word of the "new age". Live it. (To be honest with you: I am not sure if I want to look at the tape where I could see that man again reciting his line for the commercial.)
And here I include with the friendly permission of Serge King some of the wisdom he reminded me of when I asked him for advice concerning my terrible "strokes":
"... I do not know what you are experiencing or why,
but there are a few things that I do know:
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