The Danger in Fixing Problems
Problems are a natural part of life and when we find one, facing it quickly and doing something about it is usually the wisest course of actions. However, when we are constantly trying to fix problems, we often lose sight of why we are trying to fix the problems in the first place. We think we fix problems so that we can get back to enjoying our lives. But when we seek out problems to fix, as in doing our "shadow" work or doing lots of self-help workshops, we stay in the vibration of needing fixing.
It's a cliché, but a useful one, that when a woman wants someone to just listen to her, the man just wants to fix the problem. It's as though the man is afraid of the intimacy of just feeling, particularly something of a lower vibration. The same kind of situation becomes a habit when we continually look to fix our problems, but shy away from spending prolonged time simply enjoying what's in front of us.
I know that I'm as guilty of this as anyone. I step into my kitchen and the first thing I notice is whatever dirty dishes there might be. I don't stop to enjoy how cool my kitchen is, both its beauty and its sweet functionality. I look for what needs to be done. The same is true with my garden; I can enjoy the beauty and fragrances for a moment, then I start seeing the weeds that need pulling, the bushes that need trimming, and the fallen branches that need to be picked up.
This isn't a terrible problem in my outer world, although it's symptomatic of my inner world. But it's the inner world where this habit of looking to fix things is most pernicious.
If I want to get good at creating the life I want, then I need to be very mindful of the thoughts I am holding that then get energized and become my reality. Each of my thoughts has an effect on my experience, and if I want to improve my experience, then I need to improve my thoughts, particularly the ones I'm not paying much attention to. All of my thoughts have an effect on my happiness. So if I am holding on to thoughts that this, that, and the other aren't right, then this is the vibration with which I am creating my life.
This is particularly evident in thoughts about lack. "Oh, I shouldn't buy that one; it's too expensive." "I really want to be able to afford a new apartment." "I just want to find a man/woman to love me." These statements seem innocuous enough, but they clearly come from a belief that these things don't currently exist in our experience. And any focus on these thoughts only strengthens them.
So the obvious thing is to not focus on our lack, but rather on our already existing abundance. But that's not always so easy. And that's largely a function of our belief that if we just get all of our problems fixed, we'll be golden.
In a mechanistic world, this is the way things work. We fix our car, and it runs well. We fix our medical problems and then we get to go out dancing again. We fix our tax problems, and we get to stay out of jail. But that's not how the energetic world works. The problems of the outer world are only the products of our inner world. So fixing the outer world problems does nothing for the inner world problems.
And the inner world problems arise from how we are looking at our experience. If we look at what's going on as a problem, then it becomes a problem. If, however, we look at the very same thing as a neutral or, even better, as a positive thing with things to learn and grow by, then we create our outer world very differently.
One way to do this is to inwardly say "thank you" for everything that comes our way. Another way is to constantly remind ourselves that "everything is working out perfectly." Yet another way is to get into the habit of looking for the pleasure in everything, seeking out what can be enjoyed. Each of these approaches keeps our vibration high, and thus we create better things for ourselves without having to focus so hard on getting our desires met.
I would never suggest that we overlook the things that are hurting us or have the potential to do so. We need to take care of ourselves. But the most important thing is to stay in as high a vibration as possible. If I want to enjoy my life, then I need to constantly practice--practice enjoying myself.
As I've written before: The choice to trust that everything is working out perfectly is what allows everything to work out perfectly. To that I would add: Consciously enjoying your life is what brings about more things to enjoy!
Copyright 2018 Stewart Blackburn
Stewart Blackburn is the author of The Skills of Pleasure: Crafting the Life You Want. His website is: www.stewartblackburn.com; email: firstname.lastname@example.org.