How Big Is Good?
Sometimes I think to myself, "I am not doing all these great things that other people are doing. I am not doing workshops and lectures like I used to do in Canada" etc. etc. I re-newed my vows in November and asked myself, "What am I really doing here in Antigua as an Alaka'i?'' Living here in this third world country just does not afford me the same luxuries of sharing Huna in the same way as when I lived in Canada. And so are my thoughts . . . . until I have a experience like this one:
I work out of Akparo, a waterfront salon that caters to tourists and boat people. I created a reduced Lomi Lomi one hour feel good deep tissue massage catering to these type of folks. Anyway, a man on holidays came in for a massage, then called the next day requesting me to come to his rented resort to do 3 more massages. "Have table, will travel" - I launched out on my mission to do what I thought would be 3 massages for these affluent folks on the hill. The first woman began to have a release of tears and trauma that she had been carrying in her body and opened up to me to as what had happened in her life. After the massage I felt compelled to tell her about Kahi Loa and she invited me back to do a Kahi Loa session. This has never happened before as people on holidays generally do not want to do healing work, they just want to be pampered. Our meeting was intense and I felt we were meant to meet. The next massage was her husband and one look at his body told me he carried a lifetime of pain, grief and repressed feelings. He was a tight Englishman and his wife warned me that he does not share, talk or show his feelings and has never in his life. He had a blood disorder, severe knee problems and other physical ailments. He walked with a cane and limped due to the pain. One of his knees was hot, inflamed and did all but cry out itself. Again I deviated from my usual massage, and I worked on the knee using Kahi Loa techniques. His knee gave a shudder and energy flew down from his knee and out his foot. It was most incredible. The man then burst into tears and began sobbing. It is hard to describe the feeling I had, just a lot of Love for the man and gratitude to be a part of the work and to witness once again the amazing healing that can happen from Kahi. After the massage, he looked like a different person and the first thing he said was "How did you do that??!!" I told him about Kahi and he too invited me back for a second time. When I came back for the second set of massages, he said he didn't need the cane anymore and could almost put full weight on his one bad knee. Returning to London, they are prepared to pursue the healing arts in some capacity and continue the healing that had begun here. What a gift and a blessing to meet these folks and to remind me of my purpose in life.
The big 'aha' for me which was more of a reminder is that I don't have to do a big workshop in order to serve God, or help people. This is not Vancouver, Canada, this is Antigua, West Indies. And that while I live here, it is ok to not do it that way. I can just do what is in front of me to be done, one person at a time. I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing in the context of this country. What happened with those folks was so unexpected, I was just expecting to do another job. But it made me think - all those massages that I do for tourists and boat people - how do I know that those people have not been touched in some way. I always begin and end with Kahi, pray for them while I work and bless them. Isn't that what it is all about? Another 'aha' is that service to God can be done quietly, in silence and in private for only me and God to know about. I remember when numbers' were so important. Gotta have numbers, gotta fill the workshop, as if my self worth as a healer depended on the number of people in the workshop. I am not saying that this is a bad thing, by all means lets fill the workshops, but what is the intent behind it, what is the meaning that I attach to it. And to me the tight Englishman who was unable to share, talk, or show his feelings sobbing on my massage table was just as valuable and important as 20 folks in a workshop.
I may never see those folks again and they believe that I helped and healed them so much, but what incredible teachers they have been for me! What a soul connection we had. I don't have to feel guilty for what I perceived as not fulfilling my Alakai responsibilities. I now know I am and it is all perfect exactly the way it is. PONO!!!
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Copyright by Aloha International 2001