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A Destressing Plan
by Serge Kahili King

The following is from a response I gave to someone who needed guidance, and I hope many others will be able to use it as well.

"I would sympathize with your plight, but my sympathy isn't going to help you. Below is a simple plan that will get you out of the mess you're in and lead you to a brighter future. It worked for me, and it has worked for thousands of others. However, although it is simple, you may find it extremely difficult. The stronger your motivation to change your life, though, the easier it will be. And note that this plan has one big flaw: it only works if you use it.

Part One - Reduce physical stress.
The Plan: Breathe like a dolphin. Dolphins do not breathe automatically, every breath has to be conscious. The best way to breathe consciously is to put your full attention on something you are holding in your hands as you breathe. Start with one minute out of every hour and work up to five, until doing it frequently is a habit. You may be amazed at how much physical stress this relieves.

Part Two - Reduce emotional stress.
The Plan: Take responsibility for your stress. No one else causes you stress. They never have and they never will. What happens is that someone does something you don't like and you react by stressing with some variation of fear or anger, which affects your body and your mind. Which makes you less healthy and less effective. As long as you blame others for your stress you put yourself in an endless trap. Start by taking responsibility for your reactions, then do something to change those reactions. If Dynamind seems like too much, use TFR - think about what upsets you, feel the reaction, then relax the area of your body where you feel the reaction. Begin with small things and work up slowly to the big ones.

Part Three - Reduce mental stress.
The Plan: Change your expectations. Most people create expectations by remembering negative events from the past and projecting them into the future, which produces confusion, discouragement, and despair. The fact is, the future is wide open and absolutely no one can predict it with certainty. Nevertheless, another fact is that if you expect the worst, you will subconsciously help to bring it about, and if you expect the best you will subconsciously help to bring that about. The problem is not that negative expectations appear; the problem occurs when you dwell on them and treat them as truth, when all they are is fantasy. The best solution is to rigorously change every negative expectation to a positive one as soon as it appears. The positive expectation is also a fantasy - a product of your imagination - but it helps you feel better and helps you prepare for success.

So that's it. Very difficult, I know, but I emphasize again that it works. If you find a better plan, then use that, but if you don't do anything, nothing good will happen."

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